


12 Nights of Christmas

by AvecPardon



Series: Parlourverse Canon Side-Stories [3]
Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Gen, Mike Schmidt & Jeremy Fitzgerald - Freeform, fivenightsatfreddysfanfiction (blog), parlourverse, reborniverse rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 16:36:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17369516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvecPardon/pseuds/AvecPardon
Summary: It’s the 12 Days of Christmas, Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza style! 12 mini-stories for 12 nights as Mike and Jeremy try to keep sane through the season!





	1. Chapter 1

_On the first night of Christmas, a creepy puppet gave to me_

_A foxy pirate stuck in a tree!_

 

“What the fuck?” Mike asked in disbelief, staring at the Christmas tree set up in the game area. Jeremy stood by him, not sure whether to panic or laugh at the sight of Foxy the Pirate clinging to the treetop. The animatronic was wagging his tail, eyepatch flipped up so he could smile down at them with brightly gleaming eyes, the friendly ones, not under the control of the Fourth. “Foxy! Dumb fuck, how the **hell** did you get up there?!”

 _“M-Magic, laddie! Good old Christ-Christmas ch-charm!”_ His tail wagged harder, making the treetop sway more.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Mike sighed, lifting his radio from his waist to his mouth, “Chris, bring the ladder from maintenance to the game room. I need to knock an asshole out of a tree.”

Jeremy laughed, hugging himself as he leaned aside, using Mike for support. The older guard just cracked a small grin, shaking his head slightly.

 

_On the second night of Christmas, a creepy puppet gave to me_

_Two extra guards_

_And a foxy pirate stuck in a tree!_

 

“You stay the fuck away from me!” Mike yelled from behind Jeremy as he blinked at the two men standing before them. One was short and somewhat heavy-set, his day shift uniform crisp and clean and smartly pressed. The other was tall and thin, dressed as the night watch did, flat expression on his face that made Jeremy think he’d seen far more than he was willing to talk about, one hand constantly stroking the edges of his phone at his belt. He recognized the short one, but not the tall one.

“Hi,” Jeremy greeted, “glad to see you back, Fritz. We’ve gotten some new rules since you last worked, so would you like to go over them with me?” Fritz huffed, wrinkling his nose as he pushed his glasses up with one finger.

“Yeah, yeah. ‘Don’t tamper with Fitzgerald programming.’ …Jerk.” he replied in irritation. Jeremy’s smile grew a bit strained. It was sad, in his opinion; he and Fritz had only met once, when Jeremy had to take a sick day and gave his temporary replacement a quick rundown of how to last the night. They had gotten along well, friendly and pleasant, until Foxy appeared too soon for the shift, the Fourth furious at another guard in the pizzeria.

Jeremy issued his father’s command to reset Foxy and put him in defense of the office until the timer ran out. Fritz had grown oddly excited and questions about the job became questions about how much control Jeremy had over the Fazbands and the number of commands. Jeremy refused to answer and left the building. He returned the next day in better health, only to find Fritz had copied his initial command and tried combining it with random words in trial and error testing.

The animatronics went haywire, damaging themselves and the building in their confusion. Fritz was fired and Jeremy had to lock the commands to his voice and Mike’s, so no one else could abuse them. The friendly air between him and Fritz soured, and Jeremy felt saddened even as he stung from the betrayal.

“Hey, I’m Scott.” The phone fondler waved at them. “I’m back on the night shift. You guys haven’t checked those suits yet, right?”

“I **did**. Thanks for the mental image. Asshole.” Mike growled, hands gripping Jeremy’s shoulder protectively. “Fucking lying phone guy making me think he was dead….”

Jeremy sighed. Two more guards would be really helpful. If only they didn’t have so much hostility between them…..

 

_On the third night of Christmas, a creepy puppet gave to me_

_Three clingy robots_

_Two extra guards_

_And a foxy pirate stuck in a tree!_

 

Jeremy stared, jaw dropped in disbelief. Mike just glared back, managing his air of 'pissed off beyond all reason’ even with Foxy loaded in his arms, the animatronic wagging his tail and smiling hugely, and Mangle dangling from the ceiling to nuzzle Mike’s cheek with static-purrs.

“Um?” Jeremy began, raising a hand to point at him.

“Don’t ask. Just get the water bottle.” Mike grumbled and turned red, shooting another angry look downwards. “I swear to **fucking** god, birdbrain, if I fucking feel that hand of yours going to where I _think_ it’s going, you’re gonna be looking for it in the fucking **trash** **disposal**!”

 _“Awww,”_ Chicacoo whined from her spot near his legs.

 

_On the fourth night of Christmas, a creepy puppet gave to me_

_Four calls to Doll_

_Three clingy robots_

_Two extra guards_

_And a foxy pirate stuck in a tree!_

 

***Ring Ring!***

“Hey, Doll? It’s Mike. Heh, like it’d be anyone else calling. Um, it’s about Jeremy. He… he ran into some trouble on the way here. He says he’s okay but… hard to think… I’m gonna pull a double, okay? I’ll be home soon.”

***Ring Ring!***

“Hey, Miss M, sorry… I’m kinda banged up. It’s nothing to worry about, really. Just… called to say sorry, for making Mike stay overnight. I told him to go home. But he didn’t listen. …I’ll try and talk to him again. He didn’t look so good. He’s probably just tired. I’m sorry. …Okay, bye.”

***Ring Ring!***

“Doll, I know you get worried when I don’t call so I’m just checking in. It’s about 2 AM, we’re doing okay… no, Jeremy, tighter, last time I got bit I didn’t tie it tight enough and almost bled out on the way to the ER! Oh! Uh, that wasn’t anything, Doll! Just playin’ around with Jere! We’re _fine_! …No, we are NOT asking Chicacoo for help-!”

***Ring Ring!***

“Hey, Doll? It’s Chris, I sorta borrowed your man’s phone to make this call since he has you on speed-dial. Can you come down here? I’m not sure how it happened but that fuckin’ furry and Jeremy got stuffed into the same suit. Now, they’re still alive, thank god. Apparently, some asshat thought they could rip all the metal out of the holiday Freddy suit and left it just loose and empty enough that Mike and Jeremy didn’t get squished when they were shoved in. …Oh, Mike woke up. Hey, you fuckin’ furry, don’t get the new guy involved in your kinks! …Yeah, I’m talking to your girlfriend! I’m tellin’ her what weird shit you get up to! …Hah! You can’t flip me off while you’re stuck in there! …Oh yeah! Doll, bring the butter. I can’t pull 'em out like this. Thanks!”

 

_On the fifth night of Christmas, a creepy puppet gave to me_

_Five Golden Freddies~!_

_Four calls to Doll_

_Three clingy robots_

_Two extra guards_

_And a foxy pirate stuck in a tree!_

 

_“Jeremy!”_

Mike’s voice sounded so distant, the world tilted, blurred, and then there was a sharp pain in the side of his head as Jeremy hit the floor, curling up and shivering. They were _everywhere_ , surrounding him, small but so horrible. The demonic little beings didn’t understand the terror they held in their hands.

“Hey! Uh, hey, kids, great prizes, but it looks like this member of the Fazbear Family needs his nap!” Mike managed to bullshit control of the situation, gently shooing away the children with their Golden Freddy plushies. “Why don’t you find your parents and show them what you got in trade? Bet they’ll be surprised to see five Golden Freddy dolls; that’s a really rare prize!”

Laughter grew faint as the children hurried off excitedly, and Jeremy trembled as Mike gathered him in his arms, tucking the younger guard’s head under his chin. “It’s okay. Got rid of the lil plushie monsters for ya. I’m _here_ , you’re okay.” His voice was soothing for being normally snarky and gruff, and Jeremy shut his eyes, slowly relaxing into the embrace.

He hated Golden Freddy as much as he feared him. Even the little plushies were enough to trigger his panic. But Jeremy felt safer, more whole, when Mike or Doll were there to hold him together, comforting him. As long as they were there, he could say that Golden Freddy would never rip them apart like he did with the Fitzgerald Family.

 

_On the sixth day of Christmas, a creepy puppet gave to me_

_Six balloons popping_

_Five Golden Freddies~!_

_Four calls to Doll_

_Three clingy robots_

_Two extra guards_

_And a foxy pirate stuck in a tree!_

 

The first balloon being popped annoyed him, Mike shooting a warning glare towards BB as he stood nearby to look after the children running around with tickets in their clutches.

BB just stared up at his cluster of balloons with a look of alarm, eyes wide. What was going on? Mike squinted, trying to get a better look at the balloons without getting closer to the animatronic.

Two more popped and BB whined, looking to him desperately for help. _'Oh for fuck’s sake!’_ Mike scowled and started look near him for the culprit. Something was popping the balloons and that required something sharp or something that hit hard, both of which were dangerous in a building full of kids. He circled around BB cautiously, still at a distance and hopefully unnoticed by whoever or whatever was doing that.

Another popped. Then another. Mike caught sight of something small and hard dropping to the floor after each balloon burst. A pebble? …Wait a second.

Another balloon popped, and now BB was making that face like he was about to wail in electronic frustration. Six balloons, that was the max he could carry in one go and now they were all popped.

“What the hell is-?” Mike began in irritated confusion just as he felt a sharp sting hit his ass, **“AAGH!”** One hand flew back reflexively, grabbing at the sore spot as he whirled around, growling angrily. His eyes locked onto a kid snickering with his eyes closed gleefully, a pea-shooter gripped in one hand.

Another snickering voice added to it as BonBon walked up with his guitar in hand. _“Got you good, didn’t he?”_ the rabbit asked slyly, _“Want Chicacoo to kiss it better?”_

“Get the brat’s mom,” Mike growled out, steaming as he marched forward to grab the kid and the peashooter. He wasn’t paid enough for this… oh wait, he actually **was** now. _'Fuck my life.’_

 

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

_On the seventh night of Christmas, a creepy puppet gave to me_

_Seven nights at Fuckboy’s_

_Six balloons popping_

_Five Golden Freddies~!_

_Four calls to Doll_

_Three clingy robots_

_Two extra guards_

_And a foxy pirate stuck in a tree!_

 

“Why are you still working here?” Mike asked out of the blue, leaning far back in his chair so he was balanced on the rear legs. He kept his eyes on the ceiling, looking far too tired for a normal day shift. Jeremy walked around the desk and nudged the back of his chair, tipping him forward on all fours safely.

“If this is leading to another try at firing me, you already know what I’ll do after that,” he pointed out calmly, heading to his locker to open it and get his nametag and flashlight. The Freddy Mask hung there as well, but with the swap of the Little One, he didn’t need it anymore. Jeremy could summon another Freddy Mask when he was in danger, a trick that he learned in the bathroom when a noise startled him and his mind went blank trying to pinpoint it. Like smoke swirling into shape and form, a black Freddy Mask projected itself over his face and frightened him when saw himself in the mirror. It dropped in his panic and it took Jeremy a few experimental tries to figure out how to call it back up.

It worked just like his normal mask but much faster to put on. And after a sighting of a mysterious purplish-shadowy Freddy copy slumped in Parts and Service, Jeremy dubbed his new defense the Shadow Freddy Mask.

“You’ve got so much ahead of you, Jere, and you’re risking it all working here,” Mike sighed, slumping forward onto the desk and folding his arms on it. His face half-hidden in the defensive pose, he gave another tired sigh and looked down the hall outside the office.

Jeremy pulled up another chair and sat by him, nudging his shoulder and giving Mike a small smile when the man finally looked over at him. “I didn’t have _anything_ for me before I got my job here, Mike,” he said firmly but warmly. “I had an idea for clearing my father’s name, a hope for it, but it was just a wish until I got hired here. Now I’m making progress, slow but still good.”

He pulled out his tablet from his backpack and set it on the table next to Mike’s own. “I made a good friend who became more like my dad, I met his really awesome girlfriend who is nice to me and not **just** because of my situation; everything good going for me now is because of me working those first seven nights at Freddy’s.”

Mike stared up at him, teary-eyed, for several long moments. Then he reached up and flipped Jeremy’s cap down over his face. “You forgot to punch in, son.”

Jeremy scrambled to the clock to put in his time card, but smiled as he did. Mike’s voice sounded more like his usual self now. Much better.

 

_On the eighth night of Christmas, a creepy puppet gave to me_

_Eight parents gawking_

_Seven nights at Fuckboy’s_

_Six balloons popping_

_Five Golden Freddies~!_

_Four calls to Doll_

_Three clingy robots_

_Two extra guards_

_And a foxy pirate stuck in a tree!_

 

The screaming children got Mike’s attention and he was off and running without a thought, pushing through the crowd until he reached the Christmas tree in the game room. Several children huddled close to their parents and guardians, eight adults in all clutching them close and staring at Bonnie.

The faceless bunny standing at the base of the tree made Mike pull up short in alarm, hands clenching into fists reflexively. Bonnie made no motion, just kept standing there, looking up at the tree of lights and making soft shuddering sounds like he missed seeing them all lit up. No attacking anyone, no trying to drag someone away to stuff into a suit; there was a flash of irritation that Mike felt over -once again- never understanding why the Fazband kept flipping back and forth from ‘okay’ to 'evil and psychotic’.

Either way, Bonnie was out when he wasn’t supposed to be and Mike had to get him back to Parts and Service before someone got hurt. He drew close cautiously, holding up an arm as though it were a shield. “Hey, Bonnie. Not supposed to be wandering out here,” he told the animatronic, stepping around to keep the purple rabbit in sight. “C'mon. To the back with ya.”

Bonnie made some weird whine, a horrific gargling of metal and electronic grinding that made the kids cry. Mike held up his hands again, palms forward as he drew closer to the rabbit.

“Hey, hey! Don’t **do** that; you’re scaring the kids. You make them happy, not sad, remember? Remember makin’ 'em smile?” he whispered just loudly enough for Bonnie to hear. The rabbit nodded slowly, then looked back up at the tree. Mike blinked and looked over his shoulder at the twinkling lights as well. He stared at them for a second, struggling to piece together what Bonnie saw in the lights.

He wished Jeremy was there. Kid had a way with understanding the machines, even if they terrified the fuck out of him at night.

“Mr. Guard?” one of the kids clinging to an adult called out shakily, “I think it wants the lights.”

Oh.

Mike frowned thoughtfully. Bonnie wanted lights, but he couldn’t take the ones off the tree. Were there some other lights somewhere else that Bonnie could look at? He grabbed the radio off his belt and held it up. “Hey, Chris, we have any extra Christmas lights no one’s using?”

_“Got some stashed in a box in storage, with that broken little tree from the old place.”_

That could work.

“Hey, Bonnie. Let’s head back to Parts and Service. I got some lights you can have.” Mike offered, jerking a thumb towards the hall. Bonnie looked at him, blinking LED eyes, then nodded, following after the day guard. Mike waved to the eight adults with the cluster of kids, managing an encouraging smile to lift the kids’ spirits. When several little smiles were returned, he felt better about handling the situation and walked on, Bonnie trudging alongside him.

In no time, Mike had the crappy old tree propped up against a stack of boxes, the spare Christmas lights wound around it and plugged in. They twinkled a rainbow of colors over Bonnie’s faux fur as the animatronic sat in place and gazed at it. Mike stood nearby, admiring his handiwork.

“There. Your own Christmas tree,” he declared, and gave a startled shout when Bonnie reached out to pull him close. “Hey! **Hey!** Don’t fucking touch-!” He cut himself off when all that happened was the rabbit pressing him close in a strange kind of hug before letting him go. Mike backed away quickly, straightening his hat and keeping his eyes on Bonnie for any other sudden movements. “Okay… so… I’ll be going then.”

He left hurriedly, before he could be caught smiling again.

 

_On the ninth night of Christmas, a creepy puppet gave to me_

_Nine candles burning_

_Eight parents gawking_

_Seven nights at Fuckboy’s_

_Six balloons popping_

_Five Golden Freddies~!_

_Four calls to Doll_

_Three clingy robots_

_Two extra guards_

_And a foxy pirate stuck in a tree!_

 

A strike of a match. A hand curved around a tiny flame. Orange glows hovered over Jeremy’s face as he carefully lit the last candle. “There we go. Now it feels warm,” he murmured and stepped back, smiling as he looked around the office.

Nine candles flickered on shelves and temporary sconces, bathing the room in a soft golden glow of light. It looked like the picture in the magazine. Jeremy clapped his hands with a laugh and took his seat at the desk, humming to himself as he wrapped boxes in paper to put under the picture of a pine tree he printed out earlier in the day.

When the colorful boxes were placed at the picture the Christmas scene was set.

“Okay! Everybody, get in place!” Jeremy called out and stepped aside as the Fazbands wandered into the office, looking around and marvelling at the decorations. He grinned, hopping in place as he clutched a camera. “C'mon! We’ve still got half an hour to midnight! I want to take a picture so we can have a Christmas card for Mike!”

There was a lot of jostling for position. Fred and Freddy slapped at each other to take center place while Chicacoo tried for different flirtatious poses. BonBon made faces at Bonnie, who held a mask up to hide their own lack of a face. Chica hid her lack of hands behind her back, smiling as Foxy draped an arm across her shoulders and gave the camera a toothy grin. Mangle dropped in from above, holding BB and Marionette in her arms over the group while Endo laughed.

“Okay! All ready? SMILE!” Jeremy exclaimed, setting up the camera to take a timed picture. He pressed the button, hurried to join the Fazbands, and held up a peace sign just as the camera flashed.

 

On Christmas Day, Mike’s eye twitched at the card attached to his present. “That kid is gonna be the death of me one day.”

 

_On the tenth night of Christmas, a creepy puppet gave to me_

_Ten pizzas flying!_

_Nine candles burning_

_Eight parents gawking_

_Seven nights at Fuckboy’s_

_Six balloons popping_

_Five Golden Freddies~!_

_Four calls to Doll_

_Three clingy robots_

_Two extra guards_

_And a foxy pirate stuck in a tree!_

 

It started when the cart for carrying pizzas got mistakenly launched out of the kitchen, hit a sorting table and flung ten pizzas into the air, over the buffet line and into the room of people. There were yells of surprise and irritation, and then one kid picked up a slice and screamed 'FOOD FIGHT!’ at the top of his lungs.

The crowd exploded into chaos, pizza flung everywhere in varying amounts.

Mike held his hat down as he ran through the mess, yanking on adults to snarl orders for them to settle down and tapping kids firmly on the heads for their attention. The ones that cried got his attention first. Those Mike would scoop up and carry to safety.

His uniform was less blue and black and more yellow and red as he ran back and forth, rescuing children and growling at troublemakers. Fritz joined in shortly after, chasing after the rowdy teenagers and tripping over fallen chairs.

“Parents! Your kids are at the Prize Corner! When you’re not completely _out of your minds_ with being **stupid** , come and get them!” Mike yelled out over the ruckus, standing on a table to project his voice. “Fritz! Quit falling all over everything and fuu-udging **catch** that little jerk that **started** this!”

“I’m t-t-trying!” Fritz cried and promptly tripped, falling onto the kid that initiated the food fight, “Gotcha!”

The sound of footsteps stomping over tile in a familiar rapid pace caught Mike’s attention, his face paling in a minor flashback of the same sounds preceding an attempted Foxy attack. “Oh no,” he muttered, twisting in place to stare wide-eyed at Chica and Chicacoo running into the game area/dining area.

 _“Save the pizza!”_ the chickens screamed, leaping right at him.

**“GAAAH!”**

Jeremy was called in for support a short time later and the sight that greeted him made him clap a hand over his mouth to hold in his laughter.

Chica sat on the floor, frantically pecking at pizza sauce and cheese to get as much of it in her mouth as possible.

Not far from her, Chicacoo had Mike pinned, pulling at his shirt. _“Gimme that wearable pizza!”_ she declared like a petulant teenager, _“Lemme borrow that top!”_

“There are **kids** here, you fu-fudging Japanese bird! _Quit trying to pull my clothes off!_ ”

“I’m telling Miss M!” Jeremy called out with a smile.

“JEREMY!”

“Be glad there’s no mistletoe strung up!”

 

_On the eleventh night of Christmas, a creepy puppet gave to me_

_Eleven Christmas cards_

_Ten pizzas flying!_

_Nine candles burning_

_Eight parents gawking_

_Seven nights at Fuckboy’s_

_Six balloons popping_

_Five Golden Freddies~!_

_Four calls to Doll_

_Three clingy robots_

_Two extra guards_

_And a foxy pirate stuck in a tree!_

 

The first card was left on the desk where Mike saw it at the start of his shift. He held it up to Jeremy questioningly, but the teen just yawned and shrugged before heading off home. Puzzled, Mike opened the card to see childish writing scrawled within.

_'Merry Christmas, Mikey!’_

“Huh, wonder who wrote this? The kid?” Mike muttered before shaking his head. The Kid always called him 'Mr. Schmidt’ in the same tone any other kid would use when saying 'Superman’ or 'Batman’. No way would they go with such a kiddie version of his name.

Mike opened a drawer to put the card away and found a childish drawing that hadn’t been there before. A crude image of a Christmas present with his name written over it was on the paper. _'Wish I could get you a present, but this is the best I can do!’_ He squinted at it, dropped the card in the drawer, and clapped it shut.

Weird.

As he went on with his day, he found more cards and notes left in the places he patrolled, all written in the same childish handwriting. It was kind of creepy.

_'Please be sure to get lots of rest!’_

_'Eat your veggies, even if they’re kinda yucky.’_

_'Be careful not to get hurt because it makes Miss Doll and Jeremy sad.’_

_'Keep your taser with you because the others can be tricky.’_

_'You’re my friend, Mikey. You have lots of friends. So let your friends help you when you need it.’_

There were eleven cards and notes in all by the time Mike’s shift came to a close. The creepy factor had been cranked up to the point that Mike kept his hand on his taser at all times and constantly checked over his shoulder. Who had left him all those notes? Jeremy? The kid didn’t seem to have it in him for a prank like this.

And yet some part of his mind seemed to insist that he should **know** this handwriting. Strange.

The last card was the simplest. A simple drawing of a Christmas tree with himself standing by it, still a rough coloring. But next to him was a small child-like figure colored all in black with big white eyes. _'We’ll always be friends, Mikey, even if you don’t remember anymore. Just have a little faith in your friends.’_

Creepy.

But Mike kept all eleven cards and notes in the desk drawer in the office.

 

_On the twelfth night of Christmas, a creepy puppet gave to me_

_Twelve midnight punch out_

_Eleven Christmas cards_

_Ten pizzas flying_

_Nine candles burning_

_Eight parents gawking_

_Seven nights at Fuckboy’s_

_Six balloons popping_

_Five Golden Freddies~!_

_Four calls to Doll_

_Three clingy robots_

_Two extra guards_

_And a foxy pirate stuck in a tree!_

 

Mike wandered the halls of Freddy’s Pizza, shining his flashlight into every nook and cranny to be sure everyone was truly gone and nothing that didn’t belong in the place was there.

The animatronics were all in their positions, smiling almost nervously at each other, and offering peaceful waves to Mike as he passed them by. His hand reflexively went up to flip them off before he caught himself and clenched it into a fist, then opened it to wave back once. Minor truce, just for tonight.

Almost punch out. Mike worked a couple extra hours, since Boss made his announcement and he had winced a little at the idea of lost wages. But it was expected and he took his time making sure the pizzeria was as secure it could be.

 _“Goodnight, Michael,”_ Chicacoo called out to him as Mike began heading back to the office. _“Merry Christmas.”_

He paused, looking back at her with a vaguely uncertain look before giving a small nod. She looked more cheerful, trilling in place, and Mike walked on.

In the office he picked up his card and slid it into the clock, listening to the grind of the machine clocking him out. Few minutes left.

Mike turned off the lights and headed back into the dark, staying on alert for any funny movements in the shadows. All seemed calm, all seemed quiet.

When he finally reached the doors, Mike stepped through, turned, and locked them in silence. Once the click of tumblers fell into place he let out a sigh of relief he didn’t know he’d been holding in.

“Hey, Mike! Ready to go?!” Jeremy called out behind him. Mike grinned and turned to face his beautiful Doll and close friend/son standing side by side near a beat up truck. “Let’s go! I don’t want to waste our holiday off standing in snow all night!” Jeremy added as Doll laughed brightly. “Let’s go and get some eggnog!”

He chuckled, pulled his hat down further, and took off running, eager to be in their warm embraces for Christmas hugs. Maybe he should take more days off?

….

Nah, he still had a wedding to pay for.

**12:00 AM**

 

END

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted: December 13, 2014
> 
> It's past Christmas but this seemed appropriate, plus it's canon to the timeline, so have at.


End file.
